Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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