Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he was CRYING into my vagina
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
