Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize