Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
