I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
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...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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