Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
