yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
