I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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