The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
