I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
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