i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
