I think I am morally bankrupt
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
