yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
