Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
