Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
