When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
