What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
