He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
