this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
