I puked a lego.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I can't put those talents on a resume
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
