people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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