My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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