How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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