I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
