We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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