i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
