Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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