well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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