I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Are we still banned from the library?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just want nice things and good sex
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
