I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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