I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
