I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
