you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
