i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
