Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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