i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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