Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
