The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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