the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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