butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
