I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
