I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
