Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
