do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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