sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
