You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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