Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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