halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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