yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
