today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
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using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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