So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
