Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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