She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize