New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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