you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
