you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
