At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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