Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
