the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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