Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
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And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
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She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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