Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Everclear isn't food dammit
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
