she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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